Saturday, October 6, 2007

Pregnancy dreams and U2 Eucharists

Three good things from my weekend:
  • Dinner with k (of K and S the lesbian couple I met at church). This weekend because S was doing all kinds of sports stuff I had dinner with K. (She was a sports widow). It was really fun. And good again for me to spend time with older wiser christian lesbians who attend church.
  • I went to a U2 Eucharist. Or a communion service with all U2 music at that new church I've been going to. The music was played by a professional band and the worship team. It was REALLY well done. It would have been a great service to bring a visitor to. I felt so much better about church after it.
  • Then after a great nap I went for a three hour walk with "e". And this was good because: Sunday's can be hard for me, I had had some fleeting self hate thoughts for a bit this afternoon because I thought she had or was going to bail on me. But she didn't. The exercise was really good for my mental health and it was a REALLY beautiful day.
The only other thing I wanted to make note of from my weekend was that I had another baby dream. For the years when I was self hating my baby dreams would involve abandoning, hurting, or trying to give away a baby. I wrote about one where I yelled at a guy to stop washing the baby with the silverware.

In this dream I was pregnant. Everyone was shocked I was pregnant, they knew I was gay and couldn't figure it out. (Perhaps I dreampt this because we talked about how lesbians get pregnant in support group last week.) I was VERY pregnant. Big belly and baby moving some. I think my whole family was at some event, like a cousins wedding or something. Afterwards my dad was parking and re-parking the car. My mom was driving a car by herself to some counselor. And I drove off to connect with some girl who I liked (She was a combination of two people I like or have liked).

I got to her house and was trying to be all covert walking in the side door of the house because there was a party going on. This girl said she was 90% open to meeting up. And then she was talking about breakfast and she was wondering if that was too much time. I have no idea what breakfast had to do with time. Then I woke up.

Crazy dream. And yes I would guess that there's a lot of new things I'm birthing these days. But wow, am I glad I'm not actually pregnant! Although everyone else seems to be having kids these days. I went and looked up pregnancy dreams here. Which said it may be "may indicate birth of a new project or idea in one’s life". Um. Do you think so?

I'd rather be an aunt, second cousin, or family friend right now I think.


Cheryl said...

I love dream interpretating (strictly as a fun thing to guess at... I'm no psychologist). I would like to know how you "felt" being pregnant, because most dreams are not about the actual events taking place, they are about the emotions you feel during them.

Because yes, the birth thing is about something new about to come about in your life, and the babies are new things that you know need attention. How you feel about these situation is key to understanding what your lizard brain is trying to tell you. :)

just me - titration said...

I felt absolutely fantastic being pregnant, almost emboldened! I was amazed by it. An odd pregnant pursuit of someone.

Thanks for the dream thoughts.... :)