I think the hardest thing about coming out (to family) right now are discussions about my being celibate. Last night I made some comment (which was not really helpful but...) about how I might as well just be neutered. It would make them feel better if I was celibate the rest of my life. (I currently am). It would make them feel better if I read the bible exactly the same way they did. But I see these things differently.
Biblically I understand everything I have, including my body, is a gift from God. I do believe I was created by God and that my body is a gift. For all those long years in attempts to neuter myself I cut my body because it was a curse. I hated anything embodied. I didn't take care of my body very well because it didn't matter. The only way for someone who doesn't have the spiritual gift of celibacy to be celibate, is for them to numb their bodies. These days I actually want to steward my body well. Coming out has helped me think maybe my body is a good part of me I can use for good.
Who owns my body? It feels like the church wants to own my body as well. Am I supposed to let "the church" force celibacy upon me even though I do not have the gift of celibacy? I've been thinking a lot about both the "Vagina Monologues" and things like the circumcision of women which causes them to not feel anything sexual at all (basically it neuters them). There is a belief that that way they won't leave their husbands (watch the V-Day DVD). There's not a lot of similarity except for the fact that they are all things things hold the question "Who owns that woman's body?"
Ultimately as a Christian, all that I am and have belongs to God. I will steward it the best I can, the most godly way I can. And it may not look the way you think it should look. Because this body is mine to steward.