It seems I think I am super woman, and I can do anything. Which means I thought I could write the two papers due this morning (neither of which I had started), work a full day, workout, and go out to eat with friends after work. And I almost did. I wrote my genogram paper last night from about 8:00 p.m. - 2:30 a.m. and then I woke up at 6:30 a.m. to edit it. I skipped the two page reflection paper and I will just turn it in later. Let's just say I've had a LOT of coffee today.
The genogram paper was one of the most fascinating papers I have ever written. It was for my family system therapy class (also a very interesting class). So last night I talked to my Aunt C. and my parents about our family. Getting dates and stories and all that. I'll spare you the details but there has been something so holistic and helpful for me about getting perspective from both Zuzu's family and my parents because they have different views of the family and it seems to paint a much clearer picture of the family dynamics. I tracked
alcoholism, artistic expression, and religion's role in the family.Anywho perhaps I'll talk more on that later when I am not in a hurry. For now....
I just bought this bag which I am SOOOO excited about. It's orange. And I purchased it because on my way to school my back pack broke.
O and for those of you into questions... Here are just a few questions in my head from class today:
- Why do some folks change and some don't
- What factors facilitate, enhance, inhibit, or destruct change? (e.g., change on demand)
- What elements does change include? (Affect, behavior, and cognitions)
- Where does change start?
"One cannot NOT communicate." Just because you are silent doesn't mean you aren't communicating. Everything is a communication especially in a family system!
4 comments:
>>Why do some folks change and some don't; What factors facilitate, enhance, inhibit, or destruct change? (e.g., change on demand)<<
Willingness to please, desire to conform to perceived norms and expectations, and suggestibility occur to me right off the bat. One has to be motivated to change, actively willing to change, and willing to believe that change is possible. Conversely, if one is self-directed rather than other-directed less willing to compromise one's autonomy, and more skeptical than not, then one will be less willing to start or continue the process of change.
Incidentally, I'm thinking of this independent of evidence or reason. Certain people will believe regardless of evidence, or they'll find or invent their own evidence if there is none to support foregone conclusions. Other people will refuse to believe regardless of how much evidence there is or isn't. In the middle there are people who can be persuaded, but any evidence is only going to be as persuasive as the person allows it to be.
Any non-amateur attempts I might have made at heterosexual conversion were pretty much strangled in the cradle because I'm a cynical, stubborn bitch, basically. I am far less willing than most to concede individuality to social norms.
liadan - first of all the fact that the word bitch was said for the first time on my blog made me grin.
Wondered if regarding "change" you were only thinking about people who are gay changing. And I realized I think a bit differently about why some folks change or don't depending on if it's a gay/ex-gay thing or if it's changing from unhealthy mental health patterns.
I should compare the two... someday when I have time. :)
Your reasons are for why people change or don't are some I hadn't even thought of. Suggestibility in particular. Interesting.
I also wondered if you think change is good or bad or if it "just is" and could be both....and yes I think inventing one's own evidence is sad and very unfruitful!
Blessed be your individuality that's unconceded to social norms.
I was mostly thinking of it in terms of ex-gay conversion thingies, but the principles hold in general, I think. Certainly I have some actual bad habits I also don't change (like excessive swearing, for one) because I stubbornly maintain that my flaws are secretly a feature, not a bug. ^_^ And then there are unhealthy mental patterns I *have* endeavored to counter, like my depressive tendencies, because they have clear and *inherent* disadvantages.
I think people could theoretically want to change from gay to straight for purely utilitarian reasons, like having a larger dating pool, for one. But if that's the case, they'd make a better case for simply shifting to a bisexual mindset rather than a strictly heterosexual one. Religious and sociopolitical motivations are the sticky ones, since those are far more liable to be coercive and oppressive to those who don't "choose" to change.
It sounds like the only thing you would want to change are things that have clear and *inherent* disadvantages. And these are probably more the types of things people come into counseling to change. Why change a flaw that's a feature. :)
Oddly enough it's these things that have *inherent* disadvantages that people really want to change which are the hardest to change.
I am reminded of what was said in class... that change involves affect, behavior, and cognition. Or in other words your feelings your behavior and your thoughts. So sadly just because i want to change something for utilitarian reasons doesn't mean I will be able to. Mostly because of what you hinted at in your first comment. Someone could think they want to change but then independent of reason their feelings do not "come along" for the ride.
Hmmmm. Good stuff.
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