Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Response 1 to my "coming out" letter

This morning I got to my email after having a really wonderful evening that included book shopping, painting a picture, wine, journaling, some reading of the book "Eat Mango's Naked" by SARK. I was in a great place. I didn't think they would get the letter so fast! But they did. This is from my brother.
We received your letter.
We love you.
There is much for us to process.
We will call you; it will take us a few days, however.
This is about what I expected. And it makes me glad that I wrote it as a letter. I am trying to figure out what I am feeling. I think I feel a little (and forgive me for this) ashamed or embarrassed and sad. Why though, I have no idea. The embarrassed part might be because whenever I share something about myself that I know the other person will not think highly of I feel shame. And I feel sad because I know this is not easy for them.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Let me know if you need to lunch - today or tomorrow work for me.

-tc

M said...

That's a really good response though. Especially the reassurance that they still love you. It means the world.

You are in my prayers.

Lisa said...

I feel the same way when I have to share news that will be potentially upsetting to the other party. I feel shame and anxiety because I don't want to be a source of negativity for them.

I think your letter was excellent. I'm glad they're taking a few days before responding.

I'll be praying for you all as you make this transition.

stacey said...

this gives me courage for eventually telling my christian evangelical family.

like the others stated, you are in my prayers as well.

Anonymous said...

I'm impressed, with all of you! I think I was anticipating that you wouldn't get a response at all, at least not for awhile. But for them to actually acknowledge it, AND START OUT BY SAYING THEY LOVE YOU, is great! What made you switch from September 15?
j

just me said...

tc, m, lisa, stacy: Thanks for your prayers/cheerleading...

I know this is crazy but blogging about this experience and getting comments helps a ton! I wonder if it keeps it just enough at a distance that I can reflect on these experiences in community. Frankly support groups scare me a bit so this is my version of communal processing!

just me said...

j - I'm telling my parents somewhere around Sept. 15th. My brother's mother-in-law who is a counselor (a really experienced well respected one) called me to say that although usually my brother and sister-in-law are super busy they won't be for the next two weeks and maybe I should consider telling them first (partly to take this in stages). So this is from my brother. I am not telling my parents until Sept. because i don't want to ruin their first ever anniversary vacation (cruise).

My brother's mother-in-law is amazing and will be good for all of my fam.

Christy said...

Good for you for coming out to your family! I know that must be really scary for you, but I thought your letter was great, and I'm encouraged by your brother's response. I hope all the members of your family exceed your expectations - and I'm glad you've got your brother's MIL in your corner.

I'm sure there will be a transition time, which may be difficult and painful, but I think you will eventually find coming out to be incredibly freeing for you. At least I hope so.

Blessings on your journey.

Christy