Does anyone else think in imaginary conversations? I think I may have imagined the same few conversations over and over again for the last four weeks. So I have a mini-crush. AND I also am very aware that I am in part having imaginary conversations in my mind to self soothe. It always takes me about six months to figure out if I am for real crushing on someone or if I am just focusing on them to soothe myself or to focus on something pleasant (deep sigh). Since I was about 8 years old having imaginary conversations with people I was enamored with has been my preferred coping mechanism. And let's face it there are good reasons for me to "cope" right now.
Will I have these imaginary conversations for real. This is why I likely won't.
- I think she's out of my league.
- I need her friendship worse, and refuse to mess that up.
- I'm not brave enough. Does bravery grow or do I just choose to be brave?
- I have so many other things going on. I don't want to mix telling family and school starting, and grieving whatever is.
- It's bad timing for us both.