The person who asked me to think about it knows I'm gay and is supportive. I asked her to find out what the churches position was on homosexuality. It was what I thought, they don't officially have one. In practice, if they know you are gay you can serve in the church, but you can't be in leadership. Yes, that does anger me. So basically I have to tell them I'm gay so they can limit my service. That's dumb. Odd that it all comes down to me telling them. I suppose it's an integrity issue. It would be easier to just say no to serving at all. It would be even easier to switch churches.
Just to log them here are some of the questions floating around in my brain... (some thanks to s.) Feel free to add your own questions to my list in the comments.
- Do I want to serve in this church?
- Do I want them to know I'm gay?
- Is it an issue of integrity to tell them if I suspect their policy wouldn't allow me to serve/lead if they knew?
- Do I want to change things in my church?
- What is the best way to address this that could impact change?
- Do I want to be "out" in my church? (I'm only out with about 10 people)
- What are the ramifications of telling my pastor? eg. Will he go to the regional office to talk it out, get advice (I know the people who work for the regional office), will they in turn go to the people in the national office where I work?
- What does it look like to live this part of my journey with integrity?
- Where is God in this?
- I don't want to argue about the bible on this. And that's probably what will happen. How am I going to handle that?