Thursday, June 7, 2007

Polyamory

Polyamory: The state of being in love or romantically involved with more than one person at a time.
I keep editing this blasted post in an effort to clarify it in my own mind and it's not working. So I'm going to leave it mid-thought. I might delete it.

This is how I was thinking. I'm just going to get to know people. I met two people online. Hung out with them. Liked them both. And I wanted to kiss someone by my 34th birthday. "y" wanted to kiss me. I wanted to kiss her.... That was fun. And I wanted to casually date someone. Because in my mind (call me crazy) kissing goes in the category of dating.

But what I didn't realize is that I have all these ideas in my head about what dating looks like or should look like. They are of course from my childhood. And they did not involve dating someone who is sleeping with someone else. I freaked out.

I should re-figure out what I want to do with dating. I think I might prefer to date one person and have that person only be dating me. Is this totally "old school?"

Should I be able to hang out with the people someone is dating after we are not dating anymore? What dating is and how different people define it is so relative. It feels like trying to nail jello to a wall.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

No. You shouldn't be able to hang out with people y is dating. She and e are completely different in that y hurt you, e did not. y believes her moral actions were completely legitimate even though you felt disrespected by them (well, at least you should have if you didn't already). e hasn't acted out of selfish motives in her dating someone else while being in a relationship with you. One could go on and on. What it comes down to - you hold strong, baby. Don't compromise yourself under the pressure of an intelligent, attractive woman (unless, of course, that intelligent attractive woman has nothing but respect and well wishings for you...then feel free to "compromise" yourself a little :) ).

-t

p.s. thanks for hanging out last night - your presence was muy muy appreciated!

just me said...

Yes good word. Hee hee I grin when I read your (unless of course) statement. :)