First I went to lunch with my friend "c". She is a christian mom of two daughters, one of which just "came out" to them this week. Her husband is well known in our denomination. I myself am not "out" to them. Today really wasn't the time to share! She just needed to talk.
I sat across the table during lunch just listening to how hard this was for her, and watching her cry. Her and her husband are in a lot of pain, but they are well surrounded and I have no doubt the whole family will be fine eventually. It's just going to be hard for a while. The first thing she told me was that her daughter "came out" to them. I asked her what she thought of that and she said she thinks it's sin but loves her. I just had her tell her story. Didn't give much advice but did tell her some of what I know and think about this journey without saying "I".
While sitting there listening I thought how ironic that I would be pseudo-counseling a mother dealing with her daughter being gay when I haven't even told my own mom! My mom might react like this. Might have these same thoughts. I wish there was a "me" for my parents that wasn't me. My parents don't have this level of community that "c" and her husband have. I tried to take note of what I might do or say to make things easier when I tell my parents. Mainly what I figured out was that I should not tell other relatives (besides you zuzu of course) before I tell them since this was hard for "c". And I should at least try and explain/tell my story, even though it would be hard. "c" longs to "understand", to have an explanation. Which in many ways isn't possible. But I get the need to hear the story. Story helps. But their daughter is not yet able to tell her story to help them and is I'm sure having a hard enough time on her own.
After lunch I promptly emailed her daughter, who I also know, told her I was gay and offered to talk with her. Not sure if she'll take me up on it but it's likely.
After all this I was at work and there was an incredible rainstorm. My landlady called to say it was flooding. FLOODING! Ug. So I rushed home to save my apartment and car from the flood. I love rainstorms, but dislike floods! The only thing that had water damage were some books and two rugs.
In the midst of this I uncovered another item for my "top ten ways to out oneself" list. It would be a flood.
- Step 1: Have books like: "Waiting for the Call, from Preachers Daughter to Lesbian Mom" on your floor.
- Step 2: It floods.
- Step 3: Landlady and her son rush down to save your apartment and stuff from the flood and pick up books out of the water to dry them out. Which is sweet of them but....
Alas. That's my story of flooding and outings on this fine Tuesday evening.
2 comments:
I think you're wrong. I think it would be entirely possible for a straight woman, studying counseling, to have that book in her house and I don't think it "outs" you at all.
O. Hmmmm. Makes sense.
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