This weekend I went to a really cute little artsy methodist church (if you can say a church is cute) with a couple friends. I think only once before have I gone to what's called an open and accepting church. For me, this means that they say on their documents or church sign that they welcome all... sexual orientation...
The last time I went to such a church was a couple years ago and I was still very much in denial of all this. I do remember how anxious I felt. Which is generally how I used to feel whenever the topic of homosexuality was brought up. This time I didn't feel anxious at all. Instead I felt a great deal of warm fussy's towards the place and the pastor and the woman intern who preached. Hmmm. I never really cared what pastor's looked like before. But I must say hearing a very very beautiful articulate woman preach totally changed my experience of church. I was also drawn to how artsy this church is. It had a mural on the outside and an art gallary inside it. A friend who went with me invited me to a play that they are having there so I can meet a Christian lesbian couple. Which in turn could hook me into Christians who are gay in the city. That is encouraging.
I am going to have coffee with the pastor. He seems like he could be someone who could help me talk through integration of my current journey.
As a side note. Last night I dreamt I was trying to drive up that really steep crooked road in San Francisco and I just couldn't get all the way up it. My car kept rolling back. It was quite anxiety producing. I wonder what that means? Perhaps that I feel this road I am on is steep.