Mindfulness and other big words

I am in a mood to use big words. Mostly because of how they sound but also because they give me a small handle on what the heck is going on in me.

First, mindfulness. Mindfulness is something I want.
In life, in thinking about dating, in relationship, in feeling, in work... You get the picture. Lately I have not been mindful and I think it's been to my detriment. I know why, because this whole phase of life for me is quite an (warning fun phrase with big word coming) ontological tour de force! Last night I felt like I am somehow getting pulled apart. It's a disequilibration. Things feel off balance a bit somehow. I think it's because I am so very not used to the rollercoster nature of thinking someone is cute, then thinking I might go out with them, then that not happening. Still no email to reschedule from the blond. I hate not knowing if she is just busy or trying to get out of it and just too shy to say. Maybe it will still happen but... in the midst of this I would like to be mindful.

I also am blog flirting with someone. :) That is at least fun. She is somewhere on match.com but I can't find her. I think she lives in Ohio though, so I probably won't ever hang out with her. But I do like what she posts even though who knows if I would find her interesting in person.

O and on a totally different note. I have to learn fast how to say no thanks to someone. I have someone pursuing me who doesn't feel to me like they are a good fit. Of course how do I really know. Should I just go out with everyone? Nope. But I just get these vibes. Can you get a sense of someone through a website and emails and IM's? Look for a blog post soon which practices my "Thanks, but no thanks" responses.