Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Well, if you are going to take scripture literally...

(Note: I did not compose this. I got it off the Internet. I heard it on the show the west wing and then blogical links posted it on her blog. I don’t know to whom credit belongs or I’d give it.)

I am posting this because I was just asked about it and I thought I had linked to it or posted it here but I couldn't find it. So now it's here.

I do need some advice from you, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.


(no subject) said...

i love that clip from the west it is if you want to see it
and here's another one that doesn't hafta do with LGBT stuff but it is another Bible one that i think portrays the religious right pretty well

Random Reflections said...

A British organisation called Christan Voice responded to what you quoted in your post - I don't know anything about that organisation but think they are quite right wing. Anyway, you can read the response here:

Casdok said...

Some food for thought there!!

~Dawn said...

I love looking at these verses in a new light, this was fun to read...I'm glad I live in this day and age and not then.

Victory Ground said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anj said...

The link posted by random reflections - finally a response of some sort from a fundamentalist Christian.

It really doesn't matter whether they are right wing or left wing, the scriptures matter. And the main arguments there are:

1. Jesus put away rituals but not moral laws.

2. The new testament specifically prohibits homosexuality.

I am not sure how Jesus put away rituals and not moral laws... This is inferred?