Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Well, if you are going to take scripture literally...

(Note: I did not compose this. I got it off the Internet. I heard it on the show the west wing and then blogical links posted it on her blog. I don’t know to whom credit belongs or I’d give it.)

I am posting this because I was just asked about it and I thought I had linked to it or posted it here but I couldn't find it. So now it's here.

I do need some advice from you, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

6 comments:

(no subject) said...

i love that clip from the west wing...here it is if you want to see it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eD52OlkKfNs
and here's another one that doesn't hafta do with LGBT stuff but it is another Bible one that i think portrays the religious right pretty well
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V82I7vgzfgE

Random Reflections said...

A British organisation called Christan Voice responded to what you quoted in your post - I don't know anything about that organisation but think they are quite right wing. Anyway, you can read the response here:

http://www.christianvoice.org.uk/laura.html

Casdok said...

Some food for thought there!!

~Dawn said...

I love looking at these verses in a new light, this was fun to read...I'm glad I live in this day and age and not then.

Victory Ground said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anj said...

The link posted by random reflections - finally a response of some sort from a fundamentalist Christian.

It really doesn't matter whether they are right wing or left wing, the scriptures matter. And the main arguments there are:

1. Jesus put away rituals but not moral laws.

2. The new testament specifically prohibits homosexuality.

I am not sure how Jesus put away rituals and not moral laws... This is inferred?