Why I am so quiet...And still in Texas

(edited after getting back) I'm so quiet because I thought I would have had more access to the internet than I have had. I didn't bring my own computer because I had to many presents but we are a very technological family with many computers so I thought I would be fine and could post when I check email. However my blog is blocked at my brother's house. Curious. Hence the reason I said hi by posting a youtube video. Now I am posting from my brother's in-laws home on their computer but have very little time. Alas. I will be here until the 28th and then I will start posting daily again.

Last night even though it was a bit cooler I spent some quality time by myself in the hot tub. It was so surreal to be in the hot tub looking in at my family and the christmas tree in the house. So far things are going pretty well. Last year I started this blog to cope during christmas because it was so hard. And even though I stuck pins in my arm at christmas I find it entirely unhealthy to roll the clock on, time since I've cut back to zero. So last year was a hiccup or a bump. And I'm still at about eight years. :) There has been absolutely no talk of my coming out. Christmas is like it usually is which the best illustration of that would be that we hold hands and pray for every meal and listen to non-stop christian music/christmas music. With the exception of putting up the tree with my sister-in-law where I got to listen to some other super cool music. (I can't remember right now who it was). Anyway the number one difference is this year it doesn't feel so fake or painful for a variety of reasons, but the number one reason is that even though they aren't talking about my coming out I did come out. That somehow makes a huge difference. Got to go, time for breakfast.

Perhaps I'll post a picture of me in the hot tub to make up for my silence. :) Um. Probably it would be of 80% steam. We shall see...