Friday, December 28, 2007
I'm back I'm back I'm back
Look the promised picture of my quality moment in the hot tub. Yep, it's all steam. So anyway. Christmas... I am back in my home using my wifi which frankly considering my addiction to the internet is darn good, 50 times over. Not blogging was not fun. Yes commenter from the previous post, I went through withdrawal in a major way.
This christmas my goal was mostly was to make it through without drama, from me or by accidentally initiating any. I think I did that. My being gay came up only during a short conversation with my sister in law which made me feel seen and I was glad for that.
I have been thinking a lot about how this christmas everything was like normal, but it wasn't normal. We aren't the same as a system. I don't tend to like pretending, but I also don't want to be trouble either. I don't know what to think about the future. If I were to bring a girl for christmas someday or not come for christmas because I was with someone else's family it would be a thing to deal with. But right now we can pretend I am the same in every way as them. I'm not. I feel guilty that I think different feel different sometimes.
All in all though christmas was better than expected and we all lived through the first family gathering since I came out.