I've outed myself now to all my MN friends. My friend Shelia who I stayed with last night and her husband responded pretty well. Sheila is a friend of mine who I got into youth ministry (back in the days when I was a youth pastor). The church where she currently works as a youth pastor is part of a group of churches fighting so gay people can't be ordained. So I said, as I do...
So you don't think I should be allowed to be a youth pastor? Even if I stayed celibate? Even though you know me well and know my faith? Even though I already have been? Even though your church ordains divorced pastors (which talked against more in scripture than homosexuality)? Even though know more about me and my relationship with God than you do those volunteers you let work with your youth?The only difference between now and me as a youth pastor before is that now I am saying who I am. I suppose you could say I am more self actualized. At a root level there is nothing different about me now then there was when I was in ministry. The main changes are that I hate myself less, feel like I can breathe, and have a lot more questions.
Yeah, that gave her some pause. I am glad I have been vulnerable all along about my struggles with things I used to call "emotional dependence" (aka a crush coming out sideways because the person thinks they can't have a crush). She wasn't shocked.
Her and her husband's assumption is that if you are gay you are promiscuous. So I explained the whole "Side A (marriage/life long commitment), Side B (celibacy), Side X (change)" routes that Christians these days choose between. (http://gaychristian.net) This seemed to help them get more of the complexity of the issue and how many christians who are gay try to wrestle with scripture. It was a good conversation I think. And I think my outing myself impacted them.
And now it's time to weave through the below zero weather for lunch and then the activities of mourning and remembering.
Also one of my favorite bloggers wrote this line in her blog. I love it! So even though it doesn't relate to anything....
from Michelle Tea’s “The Beautiful”, appearing at the end of a wistful what-might-have-been poem: “you are right where you should be / now act like it”