Last night (or actually early this a.m.) I had a dream I was in a large church and "k" was about to get up and preach. I was looking forward to hearing her, but my mom came and woke me up. And then in church this a.m. while I was cringing at a few things my dad said in his sermon I thought to myself, "It's my own fault I'm cringing because he did ask me to preach, and I said no." After church the chair of the deacon board (who is a woman) says to me "Anytime you want to preach just let us know and we will put you on the calendar." I can hear someone (that imaginary critique of mine) say "if you didn't like it then you should have preached".
On the other hand, I am not sure I could have made it as the preacher sitting through the mandatory procession of the American Flag and Christian Flag, the pledge allegiance to the American flag and christian flag, and the many patriotic hymns like "God bless America". Half the church knows or has served in the military which makes it really a huge deal to celebrate memorial day in a religious way. The mix of military memorial, near idolatry of country, and religion is something that I find tricky.
And I also thought "I should have preached" while my dad was listing biblical truths in his sermon like: "marriage and sex is between a man and a woman". I feel some empathy for my family. The shock it will be with I tell them "I'm gay" will be massive. I also decided during the sermon that I don't think it's wise to tell them first verbally. They are going to need some time to process. I think I'll have to write them a letter and send books and the phone number of the pastors I know who they can talk with.
I asked my brother and sister-in-law for prayer last week. My brother emailed. They both called. My brother called twice and said he loves me no matter what and would not ever judge me. My sister-in-law says I can talk to her mom if I'd like. It was a really dramatic reaction that made me regret asking for prayer.
In other news yesterday's day at the spa was lovely. See painted nails. :)