Before I talk about the title of this post... last night I met "E" for coffee. And all I will say is that she is totally adorable and I loved talking with her.
Tonight though I IMed with "Y". To me the topics were rather intense (race relations stuff) and my mind has now gone numb. When I talk about race relations I get all anxious and fearful. You would think I would start to get numb to black women "calling me out" on my whiteness. But I haven't. I still feel this hyper anxiety that I'll mess up or get yelled at, at any moment.
I have to think so long and hard. It's painful. And I use up all my energy. Which is why now all I have the energy to do is post a short blog post. It sort of makes my mind spin to think of intentionally entering relationship where I taking on issues of race, culture, and sexuality at once. And the fact that I have a choice and other races don't is the point. It's why I'm privileged and why I am called out on it.