Wednesday, March 14, 2007

A dating update

All right so the very first person to email me online came on pretty strong (blond coach). Which was great because she seemed really nice. I had made it a goal (sortof) that whoever they were I would go out with them if I could. Lucky for me she is totally cute, goal oriented... I had phone number, personal email address, last name and home address within a week. Which is really fast. I think though it was because she was ending her membership online. Anyway, it was fun. We had to re-schedule a date three times because of snow and her volleyball games getting re-scheduled. And I know she wasn't playing because I checked the games online. And then she emails that she's talking with someone else and asks if we still want to meet. I said yes because really I'm just getting to know people.

It was valentines day that week. So I mailed a valentines day card with a starbucks card in it. Really innocuous and not mushy AT ALL. More a friend thing. She liked it.

But then the third time we were re-scheduling she never emailed back to confirm plans and I thought that was rude so I said "It doesn't look like us meeting is in this ten feet of road" the whole car driving down the road with headlights analogy. And she did not respond. My guess is because of the other person she was talking with. It's been a few weeks.

Yesterday I get this email saying "I was cleaning my room and found the card you sent and thought why wouldn't I want to meet someone who sounds that nice."

So the short version of the story is we are on again. A 7:00 p.m. date at a wine bar. When I emailed back I said "I am being casual and just being friends with folk." I said yes to meeting for the sake of closure. I'm just learning so I'll go out with whoever (within reason). And it's my guess that whatever was going on for her before ended or changed.

All this has brought up a question though. Do lesbians online tend to say "I met someone" when they really mean, "no thank you"? Because when this happened I thought how odd that someone would move that fast, seem so interested, say call me... and then "I'm talking with someone." all in two weeks. It's quite curious. And it's happened to me twice. Although there are all those u-haul jokes... Bringing a u-haul on a second date is so not healthy!

So far only said no thank you to one person. And I outright said it. Although I think I am going to have to say it again to some other woman who wants me to be her tech support. That is a HUGE turn off!

It must be spring, I'm emailing six people. Besides the one I've met already only two of them do I want to meet right now. Let the adventures continue. It's all in the name of learning about self and other anyway. At the very least I seem to be making friends outside my community. Which means friends with people who aren't straight. And that is a good thing.


Anonymous said...

Dang, woman. You've got game. I can't wait to hear about the wine bar date. Which day is this "supposed" to happen!?


just me said...

Next Weds.

Zuzu said...

I don't think "I've met someone" is code for "no thank you" - clearly she made contact again when she was reminded of you. But it IS really possible to meet someone and feel an instant connection - and when that happens you'll find yourself wanting to be honest with whoever you have forks in the fire with - because you don't want them spending time on road where there's a dead end sign ten feet ahead. I think it's so awesome that you're putting yourself out there and exploring new communities and taking risks and being alive. When your mother says you're perfect, THIS is exactly what she means - you approach your life and these decisions with such beautiful enthusiasm and integrity. - Zuzu