Monday, August 25, 2008

Church feeling overwhelming...

So I do not know what my problem is. Probably at every church I attend I've had some moment where I've felt horribly overwhelmed and had to leave immediately. So far this hasn't happened at this church until this week. And it wasn't the sermon (at all) because the sermon was actually really thought provoking. In fact, I wish I could post it here. The issue was after the service I stayed for a meeting because I volunteered to read scripture. Something about staying after church, combined with a long discussion of something that should have only taken a hand out and a couple quick words, put me over the edge.

I said to Lo, maybe I have some issues from being a pastors kid. I forced myself to stay for most of it until I couldn't handle it anymore and then I just left. I really do love this church, sometimes I just get really trigged by church. Last time this happened it was much stronger, at my previous church's membership meeting. That time I went home and cried and felt angry because I felt so overwhelmed. I don't even know why.

I think I better talk about this in counseling because it's going to keep me from ever volunteering again if I'm not careful. It's not a panic attack but it's really strong.

1 comment:

Zuzu said...

This is all so vague and intriguing... but I suppose mostly it evokes a sense of sympathy... I'm sorry and I hope you resolve whatever issues may need to be resolved, face whatever demons and gods need to be faced and find peace. - Me