So I had a mini freak out last Friday when I realized that my full name will be posted in all press releases and promotional material for the poetry book which is coming out (pun intended). So it's my "coming out" on google I guess.
When I told my co-worker Jane about this she started laughing out loud with grand enthusiasm because someone who works on the internet and who uses google all the time should know that this was a possibility. Why I thought otherwise, is a mystery. What I thought would happen was that there would be hundreds of poems in the book and that they would not list all of the poets by name on amazon.com, the books website, and any other promotional materials. I would have used a fake name otherwise. I think there was a clause about this not being allowed though.
There's no wiggle room on this. I already asked. If my poems are in the book my name will be on the internet. How do I feel about this? In part I feel like I should be fine, be brave, and that really it's not that big of deal. I should just get over it.
On the other hand I feel terrified for no easily named reason. Why, I am not sure. As Lo said "I haven't heard of anyone being searched out and beaten up from being googled." And as C & T said "They can't fire you, in fact you are safer because they would have to find a really really good reason since you could sue them." That's good to know.
So I tell myself things, like people could assume there is another person with my name. Although I know only one other person with my name who exists, and the first four pages of google are me. Let's hope other people think there are multiple people represented. "Really this is not a big deal," I say to myself.
This recent event does make the "play" conversations Lo and I have been having about marriage and merging our last names a bit more useful though. I could just change my last name. :)