Monday, January 28, 2008

Shmmooze fest 1001

Alrighty, so last night I wandered around at my denominations yearly conference for pastors and similar folk. I had to be out there for a work thing. This conference is a non-stop christian meet and greet contest. This conference is why j was staying with me. To add to the fun my parents come to town for it. They aren't here yet but they are coming.

The first time I went to this event was my second year of college 1992. I've been there almost every year. I have gone as a student, a youth pastor, a seminarian, and now I go as little as possible, but for some reason I seem to need to be out there at least twice during the conference.

I haven't been to one of these since I've come out, and although 99% of the people there don't know I'm gay, I know. I felt more content and ok wandering around this year than I ever have before.

I had one significant conversation. I stood in the hallway and tried to explain, badly, to a acquaintance of mine why I've been cheating on my church to go to this other church. I said, "I am at the new church because it's open and accepting". She talked about how our pastor says we are there for a season, and seasons change. And how he sends us off with blessing. Sweet of her to say, but I know even if he says this in reality he was pretty angry when a friend of mine left (basically over this same issue). It was nice that he's trying to say it though so I'll give him props for that.

Mostly tonight I just said hi to a few folk and stuck close to josh who "knows". And we had that conversation I have a lot with guy friends about what to call the straight guy who is good friends with a lesbian. What is the opposite of a fag hag? I think I already asked this on my blog before. Poor straight boys that are friends with me, they don't get a fancy name. I called him my beard for a second and then I thought, "That cannot be right!"

O also, there was a Nicole Nordman concert tonight. It was really really mellow and in the dark. How do you expect this, "stay up all night, talk, and run around crazy" group of youth workers to sit through a mellow dark concert? It was decent, but just soooo mellow. I prayed during it for e and lo and c and j and k and aw. And then I started hoping I'd run into aw. This weekend I said to j: "Maybe I should explain to her what happened." It's been, I think, almost five years since we stopped being friends. I hadn't been able to tell her I was gay. Everyone else seemed to know I had a crush on her though.

Anyway then I decided I was bored so i went home.


Anonymous said...

One term I have heard for a straight man who is friends with a lesbian is "dyke like".

titration said...

lksn - that is FANTASTIC! I love it. Thanks for sharing. :)

Anonymous said...

So, was AW there? You say "everyone else seemed to know I had a crush on her." Do you think she knew, consciously or unconsciously, and couldn't deal with it, and what it might mean?

Just curious!