I'm just going to re-edit this post instead of posting something new on the topic.
Yesterday I talked with my mom. They aren't ready to tell anyone about me or talk to me yet about the letter. Which I understand. But I told them my aunt knew and my current theory is that having other family know really scared her and she was fearful zuzu was influencing me negatively (like I don't have a mind of my own) or she was feeling fear, because I am telling people and she is not ready for that.
In her fear and because she was upset I was telling people, she said, "Zuzu is HIV positive". She said this because of an article she read that was a misprint.
So yesterday besides getting a major cold, I also spent a good deal of time thinking about how people equate being gay with all sorts of things that are not true. For a while I thought maybe she actually thinks being a lesbian means I would get HIV. HIV does not equal being gay, and may not even have anything to do with sex. And then I thought about how people self protect by keeping secrets. I thought about all I'm learning in Family System Therapy class about how keeping secrets and how saying "Don't tell anyone" is a sign of an unhealthy family system.
For the rest of the mother gossip saga see zuzu's comment below.
And sortof related, this blog post: What's sex got to do with it? got me thinking this week about how sexuality is MUCH more than just sex. It's passion and art and creativity... (why do you think I paint so much?) All this intersects for me with my thoughts lately. Towards the end of it I really related to the quote so go read it.