Sunday, May 20, 2007

My first peice of emotional baggage from dating

I have a mini-piece of emotional baggage from dating (if you can call it that). I may just want to say I have some so I'm not abnormal... I hope all the baggage matches and is cute. :) I have told people before "the good news and bad news about me is I don't have any dating baggage." This baggage is probably only purse size and I won't keep it, but I sure did cry and swear a lot.

Two weeks ago "y" invited me to come stay for the weekend. Then she called Thurs. and said, "Can you come Sat. instead, one of the other people I'm dating wants to hang out?" I said ok. Then she said that other person is staying, but I told her you were coming and she's fine with that. I stewed for a good chunk of time trying to decide if I would go or not. And then I decided I would keep stewing if I didn't go and find out what the heck was going on. So I drove there.

It's so weird being at an event where both me and another person (one of four) she's dating are present. I think it brought home to me how different our philosophy's of dating are. I am experiencing the whole dating someone who is dating multiple people thing as really crappy feeling. Afterwards the other person stayed at "y"s place she and and I went and talked until 3 in the morning.

The short story is she slept with the other person hours before I came. Didn't send her home. And didn't tell me not to come. It seems we misunderstood each other on what dating was for each of us. Not sure if we will still be friends. I don't want to be all judgmental but I have been! I'm working on that.


Anonymous said...

Honey, I am so pissed on your behalf. I swore for you, and my heart ached for you.


~Dawn said...

That really stinks, my heart goes out to you.

It is good that you both talked this all over, at least you know where people stand in comparison to your own direction in life.

Zuzu said...

I absolutely can't believe that she would even remotely think it's "okay" that her other girlfriend stay the weekend WITH you and her. I can't believe you agreed to go under these circumstances. I think it's completely legitimate that until she commits to you that she do whatever she wants to do with other people, sexually, but why the heck she'd tell you about it is beyond me. That's just crazy. You're better off without that one. - Zu

just me said...

Um. It was messy but now that my anger is passing and I'm just confused what if I want to be friends with her?

Zuzu said...

In terms of cultivating a friendship with her, I think you have to make those decisions for yourself, experience them, learn from them and grow from them - reform decisions and criteria based on those experiences. In your shoes, I wouldn't want to be her friend, by my shoes look really differently based on my lexicon of experiences. Personally, and this is just an opinion, I think you live too much in your head. So being her friend gets more into the messy part of living - your body and emotions. So I say, go for it. - Zuzu

just me said...

zu this line of yours "So being her friend gets more into the messy part of living - your body and emotions. So I say, go for it" is really true!