I am wearing a skirt today and my toes have pink nail polish on them and I am wearing lipstick. I've been thinking a lot about what I wear in the last year or two. I used to avoid wearing dresses and skirts and my hair was short. Now my hair is long and I look more girly than I ever have. This is exactly the opposite trajectory that I was told would happen when I was trying to "heal" myself of my like of girls. I remember reading a book several years ago about a woman who re-educated herself and started becoming more feminine (wearing dresses and such) as she healed from her attraction to women. The healing movement also seems to talk about that for men who are gay. That they should start becoming more masculine the more they "heal" from homosexuality. I so wonder about these people. Did it stick?
It's because of these stories that I find it curious that the more ok I have become with myself and my like of girls, the more girly I have become. I am not intentionally trying to become more girly. I did not wake up one morning and think I am going to dress differently. It just happened.
Yesterday "y" and I were texting back and forth what we were wearing. She was wearing a dress, and I realized I actually wanted to wear a skirt around her. Not just because she likes it, but because it does something to me. Wearing a dress seems to make me aware of this whole other side of me that I turned off.
It all re-affirms that there is no "one way" women or lesbians dress. But I wonder if anyone else has found themselves becoming more feminine as they started coming out more. I wonder it there is a correspondence between wearing dresses or even just being feminine and being OK with one's self and sexuality. I of course still love wearing jeans and a t-shirt. And it seems the more casual "e" dresses (jeans and a t-shirt) the more attractive I think she is. But that's I'm sure a whole other blog post. :)